Malcolm Ayton

Ode to a Fag

A long time ago, back in '42
A boy with red blazer and satchel too
Leaves home walking then he rushes
He's off to school they call The Brushes

In his satchel are pens, pencils and set-square
In his blazer threepence for his tram fare
With change to spend at the quadrangle tuck shop
On toffees, aniseed balls or occasional pear drop

Entering the gates at Barnsley Road
The new school looks awesome this new daily abode
First the assembly held in the gym
With Ludis et Nobis for the school Hymn

School rules initially read by the Head
Discipline's the first lesson your mind is fed
Walk on the left, that's here the rule
The rule of the road is the same for the school

Notices given, results of the teams
First team, Second Eleven and Under-14s
Proudly we cheered our victorious friends
Pride for the school, its achievements depends

French was the lesson taught by Miss Moxon
She looked swell in a sweater but not with long frocks on
"La plume de ma tante" she would say with delight
That's really ironical, my auntie can't write!

Art in the new wing with old Hoppy Carr
"You draw me a flower vase, not a jam jar!"
On checking my drawing said with a grunt
Like Botticelli, Tinteretto or Holman Hunt

Montgomery, a famous name in '42
The year the War turned round, like Waterloo
This Monty achieved fame at El Alamein
The Monty at Firth Park just had the same name

He taught us arithmetic and quadratic equation
When we got it right, what joy and elation!
Algebra, theorems and trigonometry
Facts of right-angles committed to memory

Dinnertime's spent in the school canteen
Nutritious food, meat pie, cabbage and bean
Always the same veg, never asparagus
Following maths lessons, pi and Pythagoras

Off to the field we'd kick an old ball
Some stayed in the classroom and some by the Hall
Forgetting the time lunch break over so soon
We'd dash back to geography that afternoon

Roberts and Pascoe did teach us this lesson
Late again boys you'll do an extra session
History followed, Spike told us a story
Of ghosts in the tower, the details so gory

Concentration was lost, my mind wandered astray
The day before football's big Derby Day
Wednesday and United with Jimmy Hagen
"Pay attention, boy" shouted Johnny Gagan

My house was Haigh house, its colour was green
Competition was fostered and rivalry keen
Spike Johnson the House Master - he's one in a million
I liked all the sports but that smelly pavilion!

Sports Day for me was a fatal attraction
High jumps, long jumps, plenty of action
Into the races I entered for fun
No chance for me the victor ludurum

Six subjects of homework were done - one retention
For not handing the one in I got some detention
"Now get off home you little moron
Don't you know there's still a War on?"

These were my form mates in days of yore
Stratford, Rolfe, Goonan, Hallam and Moore
Cousins, McCabe, Siddall and Panton
Payne, Kirk and Collins - not forgetting Reg Murton

Jackson and Gibson, Richards and Richardson
Holland, Dilger, Fenner and Hutchinson
York, Harper, Hunter and Derek Wragg
Surnames recalled, new boys called 'fag'

I'm getting old now with memory lapse
I remember Wolstenholme and there's others perhaps
Oh yes - mind's clearer now, I recall
Roy Swallow, Norm Marvin and young Brian Hall

If ever I'm downhearted and feeling blue
I think of that year: 1942
And remember these old friends connected with me
At the old school at Firth Park and form 1D

Malcom Ayton 30 September1997

Related information:

• FPGS pupils